Before you start reading, I would simply ask to put down any personal defenses that could be built up. This post isn't to stick a finger in your chest and tell you your wrong, but rather designed to free up more space in our hearts for whatever the Lord may want to do. If that's not what you want, I would say this may not be for you, but if you're up for the challenge, let's go!
Let's be honest, the breakdown of most relationships is a lack of our ability to let go of what we think is right or wanting to prove the other person wrong and we so often use others people as an excuse for our own behaviors.
"But do you love her enough the learn about it?"
This was the question I was asked by a marriage counselor that allowed me to see where my level of devotion to my wife. We had been working though some dynamics in our relationship and as any good prideful person would, I stuck to what I believe scripture said about the issue and was pretty immovable in my assessment. But then the question came “Paul, I know you love Meggan. Have you put in the time to learn more about where she is coming from?” Oooof, heart check…However, that simple question unlocked an area where I realized I was leaning on my own reasoning and understanding. Granted, I did have scripture that backed by argument, but I was treating the situation as if I was in a court room and it was a jury trial. I was trapped in wanting to bring the world’s way of retributive justice into my marriage. Without realizing it, I wanted the sacred texts to speak to my wife and allow them to show her how she was wrong and I had the right answer, but instead the Lord showed me how detrimental my narrow-mindedness was. What he was really asking me wasn't necessarily if I loved my wife enough, but rather if I loved her enough to get beyond myself and love her by learning about her. This simple question fostered in a much deeper bond for us and brought forth healing.
I am not innocent of making myself seem better or smarter than another person, but human inequality is an area that is hard for me to let go off. The imperial ways of our world is our greatest unnatural disaster in my opinion and our unwillingness to try and understand a person before we try to prove them wrong is hindering what we are capable of. The Emancipation Proclamation may have legally hindered slavery in the eyes of the public here in America, but we are slaves in more ways that we realize. If you have any kind of loan, you are enslaved to the lender keeping you enslaved to the job, and this is a surface level example. If you are holding on to unforgiveness, you are a slave to their sin. If we are denying the wisdom of God, we are enslaved to the world. These are simply the natural dynamics set in motion at the beginning of time, and there’s no way around it.
My point isn’t about slavery, but about the willingness to be humble and learn. The opposite of that tends to enslave those around us. If I am not willing to listen and understand, either the people in my life have not get on board with what I think and believe and have created a realm of phycological bondage.
Sounds super inviting, right??
Imperialism is not limited to national levels, or government systems, in fact it happens in our churches more than we realize it. Don’t’ get me wrong, I am enthralled with what the Lord is doing in our world right now and through our churches. Although my heart laments for the heartache people experience daily, I pay no attention to credit the evil that ensues around us, but choose to focus on the upward calling of living as an ambassador of the kingdom of God and seeing him work in a through the people around me. Honestly, I don’t have the capacity to be in both worlds. Being equipped and recognizing the simply lies that the devil may try to whisper is important, but I don’t believe we are called to be on our heels. I am also not saying that I am a sojourner passing by and heaven is my home. I reject that dualistic theology, but rather I continue to pray that God’s kingdom expands throughout Earth as people devout all of themselves to learning about him and being faithfully committed to him and that means his decrees.
We, (as the church) have done a number on the beauty and the deep down heart challenge of being faithfully committed to the Lord in all things. All things meaning even our reasoning and understanding. Many of our teachings in church focus on heaven, and that means either specifically what we need to do to get there or what we need to do to avoid burning in sulfur forever without reprieve. I’m also not a fan of these teachings as what we often hear of as the gospel. I believe they are part of the gospel, but the good news is the his reign over all things, freeing us from the bondage of sin that has sought to bind us and hinder us living out who we are designed to be.
Jesus discussed the coming, arrival, and establishment of his Kingdom, the Kingdom of God, the Kingdom of Heaven more than anything else, and the first call is that of repentance. Why? In his culture there were very few that were committed to following the ways of the Lord. Even the religious leaders had developed their own rules, apart from the Levitical law, and imposed their way on the people. What was Jesus's assessment of this way of thinking and living? “White washed tomb syndrome”.
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. Matthew 23:27-28
These are potent words, but still relevant for us today.
We are each called to “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is covenant faithfulness and this is what the Lord is after. A one time decision will not change our hearts, although it may be a good step. Baptism wont’ change our hearts, but it’s a good step. He is King and his defeat over the principalities has broken chains that have sought to bind the hearts of the people.
The call is to be faithful to God in all things, including our thoughts, our reasoning, our source of wisdom, and life, and vitality. The question remains though, “do we love him enough to learn more about him”? Do I really believe he rules as king here and now or do I see him in a far away place that one day I hope to get to? Many of us want change in our culture, in our communities, and even in our relationships, but do I trust the process of humility? Do I have to wherewithal to teach me Godly compassion. Do I seek after caring for the lost and marginalized? Do I reject messages that fit into culture better than into the kingdom?
It’s one thing to believe, but it’s another to continue to throw away what I know and allow him to teach me what he knows. Do I really trust him in all things as my sustainer of life? Do I trust his ways of doing things according to his word or have I let my culture tell me what his word should say? Do I trust that simply by seeking him, studying him, listening for him that my heart will align more and more with his, allowing others to know him through my life?
Little did I realize that the Lord would use a marriage counseling session to teach more about humble submission and covenant faithfulness, but he did. Salvation and eternity are big topics, and I don’t want to undermine how they pull at our heartstrings, but our design has always been to commune with the Lord and care for his creation. We will be taken care of eternally, but our eternity begins here and now. We don’t have to wait, and we certainly need to step away from believing the gospel is simply about the removal of our sins. This thinking leads us into counseling sessions where someone may ask us if we even love the person to learn more about them.
Preaching simply about salvation keeps us still focused on ourselves, but I believe we can see how focusing on ourselves is what’s always gotten us in trouble. We are called to represent his kingdom today, one that looks far more like servant leadership than imperialistic ruling. It is faithfulness in all things by having faith to him in all things. This even means throwing away some of our worldly ways of doing things to create the time to seek after him. How often do we use the excuse of having to go to work to pay the bills? Granted, work is good, and we are made for work, but how many of those bills we have been created because the world told us we needed something to be happy?
Let’s continue to throw away the things of the world, let’s stand up to ourselves and commit to humility over pride. At the end, we are still left to face the question of “Do we love him enough to learn more about him or am I still too in love with my own way of reasoning?” I believe the answer is yes because I believe in our design to be one with him, but our willingness to live it out is exactly where he will meet us.
Walk bodly today,
Paul
